3 Things To Do When Your Marriage Is In Trouble
If your marriage is in trouble, you need action and you need it swiftly. Motion equals Emotion. Let me say that again Motion brings EMOTION. The more you do for your marriage, the better it will be; for the both of you. Ultimately it will take both of your efforts, but for starters, here are three short cuts to love and in the end you will find they’re not so much shortcuts but perhaps smart cuts and absolutely critical to maintaining a healthy marriage. Here are 3 things to do if your marriage is in Trouble
1. You Need Action and a Lot of It.
Simply begin by doing nice things for your spouse. For example, without even asking or offering verbally, take on a task that they would normally do and complete it yourself. In so doing this not only shows your spouse that you care about them and you want to help them but they will also feel better having their load a little bit lighter. And just buy them feeling better, or not being as tired, that can mean good news for you. Also, you can bring them a small gift just because. Part of doing is also saying. Try at least once a day to give them words of affirmation such as you know I think it’s really great that you… or you know I really respect you for doing… and also, I value you and I would not want to live my life without you.
For more ideas and suggestions on how to take action to save your marriage I recommend reading the book, The 5 Love Languages and also The Love Dare.
2. It’s the WHY not the WHAT.
When your spouse makes a complaint about something you did or something you said, try asking, why does that bother you? Even if it is something you don’t believe to be entirely true or you view the situation differently, proceeded to ask why that particular scenario is making your spouse upset. We all disagree from time to time on the content of our fights one person believes something happened the other person will deny any wrongdoing. However, we will never run out of things that make us upset. But the content of what we fight about almost always has a direct correlation to why we are angry about certain behaviors, actions, or words. So in asking that simple question what is this bother you, you may have a chance at finding the root cause of your fight and the bring you closer to solving many problems.
3. Get Support
Wisdom is rare, but there’s always an Abundance of Advice. If you’re looking to stay married, it’s a good idea to speak with people who actually believe that’s the right thing to do. Culturally, the belief is that, if a marriage is on the rocks- or one or both spouses “fell out of love”, then it’s time to end it. These ideas are given freely to everybody- no matter how badly you wish to stay married or no matter how many children would be affected by a divorce. Someone may ask,” where will I find the wisdom I need to help me work on my marriage”? I suggest finding a couple who has been married preferably 40 years or more. They may be a grandparent of yours, a friend, a neighbor or someone at church. I can tell you one thing, it’s well worth getting a little bit of guidance from them.