The Disappointments of Dating
The Disappointments of Dating.
I have four daughters, and when it comes to the topic of dating, I am very clear – a boyfriend does not promise anything. He has not decided that you’re more special than anyone else on the planet. Until he makes a commitment, it’s impossible to know what his intentions are. What does he want? We all have a deep desire to be loved and cherished, and marriage is the greatest way to meet those needs.
The disappointments of dating are harsh.
It’s a quest for love and companionship, but usually ends before either of those come to fruition.
Dating leaves an empty feeling, because it’s a vicious never ending cycle of wondering why the encounters are never long lasting. There’s a void that never seems to be filled. The void that I’m hinting at is spiritual. I believe that there is no human being on this planet who is perfect enough to make you whole. I sometimes hear the phrase “he/she completes me!”, but that is nothing more than an illusion. The “sparks” felt at that moment, are merely infatuation. Infatuation does not even come close to love.
When you’re infatuated, you crave attention from the other person – among other things – which means it’s more about pleasing you, than them. Then, when one of you pisses off the other, the relationship ends just as quickly as it started, because really loving someone is the only way to get through those problems. This is particularly common when sex is part of the equation. Reason being, if you allow things to heat up too quickly, without learning how you can truly appreciate one another in nonphysical ways, those flames will burn out faster than they ignited. Without commitment, sex has a way of making a relationship extremely disposable. You are too valuable to be taken advantage of for the short term, make a commitment for the long term – you deserve so much more.
Few people would probably want to admit that dating sucks, because we live in a have fun now, worry about it later type of culture. Everyone has the capability to make a relationship work, but that’s just it – it takes work. It’s not easy, and I know it.
Some might even say, “it’s easy for you – you have a husband.” Yes, I have a husband, but it takes absolute grit – along with determination and resolve just to stay together. We continue loving one another through the ups and downs, because we share the desire to stay on a path – one with amazing results.
For anyone out there who may be going through a divorce, or a breakup: I am sorry. And I hope that you are able to seek healing. Please, try to find a divorce care class that you can take. Many churches offer classes and groups. I highly recommend this, so that you can take care of yourself first, before starting a new relationship. You deserve to be loved and cherished.